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THE MONSTER MOVIE AUTHORITY

PRESENTS

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DIRT HAEHNEL

Dirt Haehnel is an X-files man. What he lacks in heart-of-Mulder and brains-of-Scully he makes up for with his "Scruffy Mind" (Season 1, Episode 7). His nine seasons in the bureau and countless run-ins with every monster under the moon have honed his knowledge of the dark and spooky. He's on an endless mission, scouring the universe for new creatures. His map? 2 Detectives and 202 Episodes. His Compass? Bite Night.

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WEREWOLVES WITHIN

77%

"Cute and quirky with a perfect balance of smart to awkward humor, Werewolves Within is an instant indy horror classic that must not go unwatched"

THE SADNESS

74%

"Not a film for the faint of heart... actually not sure who a flick like this might be for, but it does offer some high caliber effects work and a uniquely terrifying take on the undead"

THE SEED

19%

"This is a sorry excuse for director, Sam Walker, to get a small cast of amateur Aussie actresses half naked and writhing in slime. It wasn't worth it for them and isn't worth it for the audience either"

THE OLD WAYS

82%

"A refreshing take on a direly troped-up genre, The Old Ways is a must watch"

THE CELLAR

61%

"Watchable for the soundscape and a couple other well executed classic horror techniques, but you'll have to look past a lack luster storyline to enjoy it"

EXTRA ORDINARY

85%

"Maeve Higgins delivers a flawless performance as the sweet and quirky, Rose - earnest, understated, goofy and fun"

FRIGHT NIGHT

79%

"Fright Night 2011, with a perfect sense of humor, good classic horror vibes and an incredible cast, feels like a fitting homage to the original instead of the cheap rip-off it easily could have been"

LET ME IN

93%

"A perfectly written and acted cast of characters plus some beautiful noir cinematography and unstoppable effects work make Let Me In a must-see for any cinephile"

GREAT WHITE

19%

"A cast of ridiculously beautiful people only gets you so far. Eventually you really have to write a story"

YUMMY

67%

"Yummy vibes sort of like campy 70's horror, lots of pointless nudity and gratuitous blood splatter, but it knows exactly what it is and doesn't pretend to be anything more. If you can get on its level you're in for a fun watch"

ZOMBIE FOR SALE

78%

"Zombie For Sale's refreshing take on the Zombie genre toes the line of being all together too much, but manages to stay grounded with a truly original story and a few genuinely funny moments"

Blood Glacier

83%

"A lot of Blood Glacier is borrowed from its elders, namely The Thing, but the Kurt Russell vibes are strong in all the right ways keeping the flick from feeling stale. Not to mention some really stellar creature effects"

THE 8TH NIGHT

60%

"A little slow and alot convoluted, but a few genuine scares and some nice looking cinemtaics make The 8th Night, at best, watchable"

THE CAVE

56%

"Cool sets, good nostalgia for the right era, and some good looking stunts, but the rest is too derived to be ignored"

GODZILLA

58%

"Every fleeting snippet of nuance and originality being packed into the last 15 minutes of the flick and negated by the other hour of derivative fluff, audiences are better off just watching the teaser"

INTO THE GRIZZLY MAZE

55%

"A perfectly par picture with a classic creature feature structure, Into the Grizzly Maze boasts all the pro's of a good simple horror story and all the cons as well"

THE SHED

29%

"The Shed is an amateurish stab at a sorely underdeveloped, unexplored premise. Quickly falling into line with a myriad of poorly executed genre tropes, this Shudder original feels more like Hallmark horror than Indy ingenuity"

COWBOYS AND ALIENS

79%

"Quintessential action hero performances from Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford and Sam Rockwell transform Cowboys and Aliens from a derivative, unimaginative blockbuster money grab to an earnest sci fi adventure with a lot of heart and a good classic feel"

LUZ

80%

"Luz is beautiful, elegant and complex. A piece that demands your full attention and one you'll be chewing on for a few hours following"

DAWN OF THE BEAST

19%

"Par for course for a Wemple flick, Dawn of the Beast is derivative, trope filled, utterly unimaginative and boasts monster makeups that look like they were pulled off the shelf at party city"

HELLBOY

55%

"Harbour's enjoyable rendition of the Hellboy character is the only redeemable quality of this crass, irreverent and unimaginative blockbuster flop"

HELL BOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

78%

"2008's Hellboy II: The Golden Army is one rare example of a sequel surpassing its predecessor and stands, in Bite Night's book, as the best screen homage to the graphic novel anti hero"

OBLIVION

63%

"Another perfect 'everyman' hero performance from Cruise along with some incredible special effects and stunt work turns this otherwise forgettable sci fi blockbuster into something well worth the watch"

CASTLE FREAK

31%

"This remake is a blatant cash in on the '95 classic's cult following. I didn't even particularly like the original and I still feel a little offended by this smut"

HELL BOY

68%

"Hellboy would be just another trope filled superhero movie if it weren't for the injection of signature Del Toro darkness. Even so, it falls closer on the spectrum to Pacific Rim than Pan's Labyrinth"

Constantine

77%

"Ineffably cool Keanu, lovably dopey Shia and a cast of fatally flawed angels of heaven and hell - Constantine offers up a juicy, lore heavy action flick that is required viewing of any cinephile"

A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT

68%

"A spooky little love story, A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night is an instant indy classic and unique addition to the cache of vampire genre greats"

SHIN GODZILLA

83%

"Evangelion creator, Hideaki Anno, breathes new life into a haggard franchise by deeply exploring the realities of an unreal situation and gifting the King of Monsters the terrifying presence he truly deserves"

TEDDY

70%

"An angst ridden cautionary tale of the side effects of adolescent bullying, Teddy, delivers a familiar horror package in a uniquely indy wrapping.

THE TOMORROW WAR

54%

"The take away is corny. The creatures are cool, bu they're lost in a sea of underdeveloped characters navigating a war zone of young adult dystopian sci fi tropes"

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